Though you celebrated the 100th anniversary of the Mexican Revolution by opening beers with your Luchador Bottle Openers, driving through Taco Bell excessively, and donning matching mustaches with your dog (courtesy of Humunga Stache), the folks at Hijos De Villa Tequila took a slightly more classy approach, with the Hijos De Villa Pistol($28.00) and their awesome revolver-shaped bottle, loaded with their delicious White Silver Tequila. Certified by the Tequila Regulatory Council, this delightful blue agave spirit captures the indomitable spirit of the brave Mexicans themselves, who liberated themselves from the pesky Spanish over a century ago. Now when your friends say, “Is that thing loaded?” you can counter their question with a question of your own: “Do you mean me, or the tequila?” Ole!
You’re fond of Mexico for many reasons (recreational substances, inexpensive politicians, foam night at Señor Frogs) but nothing beats their tequila. You pretty much owe all of your high school happy endings to the spicy clear liquid. Pick up a bottle of Tequila Don Julio 70 Anejo Claro($60.00) and toast your sexual awakening along with the 70th anniversary of the award-winning tequila. Created from hand-grown and harvested blue agave plants and twice distilled, Don Julio 70 Anejo Claro is aged to perfection in white oak barrels for 18 months, and then carefully filtered for extra smoothness and clarity. With just one sip and some Bryan Adams playing on your Portable Digital Music Playeryou’ll be transported back to your 9th-grade girlfriend’s dimly lit basement.
Let’s be honest. Nights spent drinking tequila aren’t always the sharpest in your memory. (Actually, if it weren’t for the pictures in your Microsoft Surface 2, you really wouldn’t remember much at all.) Luckily, the folks at Kah Tequila($89.00-$105) have taken this into consideration, and made their tequila bottles into awesome skull-shaped keepsake collector’s items. Each flavor of tequila gets its very own decorative skull, inspired by a different Latin culture. The sweet, spicy and peppery Tequila Blanco’s bottle was inspired by the Calaveras (sugar skulls) given out on the Day of the Dead, while the ultra-high proof Tequila Reposado comes in the aptly-named El Diablo bottle, inspired by celebrations in Peru’s Lake Titicaca. The Extra Anejo Limited Edition bottle is blinged out with over 700 Swarovski crystals inspired by royal Mayan burial rituals, and inside you’ll find extra smooth KAH Tequila Extra Anejo that’s been aged for 4.5 years in American oak. We could go on, but we know you’re still laughing about Lake Titicaca.
Cinco de Mayo is way over, but this imported Tequila is just heating up. Tequila Alacran($40.00) is creating a lot of buzz, and not just from its bold and authentic flavors. The bottle it comes in is sexy and slick, with a black matte finish and scorpion mascot donned on the front. Hell, we would buy this booze just on it’s bad ass look even before we even knew it was delicious. A cross between a canteen and a flask, this dark bottle surprisingly pours out a white tequila that is as smooth as its marketing strategy.
Picture this: You’re Pee Wee Herman (just go with it). You’re in danger of receiving a serious beating at the local Satan Helper’s hangout, and you have just one last request: Tequila. But instead of the song, we’d like to suggest a glass of the purest tequila ever to meet a rocks glass—Deleon Tequila($110-$300). From a town in Mexico named after the Immaculate Conception—Purisima del Rincon—Deleon is certifiably the purest tequila on record (just ask the Tequila Regulatory Council), making its silver tequila smooth enough to sip on all Sunday long. Its innate purity means it only needs to be distilled twice, and founder Brent Hocking would rather take on Satan himself than add any chemical colorings or synthetic flavors. Instead, Deleon is aged in 150-200 year-old Haute Futaie French Oak wine barrels, producing a distinct and delicious flavor profile, making this spirit the only winner of back-to-back Grand Champion prizes at the World Beverage Competition. If that’s not enough to make you dance on a bar, then we don’t know what is.