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The same way you’d never eat half-price sushi or discount beef tartare, inferior coffee has absolutely no place in your home, mug or mouth. Protect yourself from bad beans with Ferndell Coffee.
This artisanal American coffee brand has been around since 1862—long before “artisanal” was even a thing. Recently revived as a boutique roasting house, quality is key in its three flavorful offerings.
You’ve got the rich House Blend, which is a total crowd pleaser, blending beans from the Far East, Africa and South America, aka the holy trinity of coffee deliciousness. For those who prefer a deeper, bolder taste, there’s the French Roast, which blends Central and South American beans, sans any bitterness or a smoky aftertaste. If you’re in the mood for Espresso, theirs is smooth, mild and sweet, in the style of the best espresso on earth, that of Northern Italy. Take a whiff. Ahhhhhhh.
When your words, “cold brewed” reach your ears, your first thought is typically cold, delicious lager hitting your lips. (It’s so good once it hits your lips!) We know. But it turns out that the tried and true method of cold filtering doesn’t just benefit your favorite beer, it makes a mean cup of coffee too. Hence two self-professed coffee geeks/engineers, Andy Clark and Gabe Herz decided to invent the Cold Bruer($80.00), so you could make your very own cold-brewed coffee at home, without breaking the bank.
This way, instead of hitting up a high-end coffee shop or buying an obnoxiously expensive home brewer, the Cold Bruer lets you whip up a smooth, rich, extra-strong pot of Joe at home. Sure, it takes four hours, but once it hits your lips, you’ll realize it was totally worth it. You can even adjust the drip rate based on whether or not you’d like a strong or mild brew. The Cold Bruer itself is made of high-quality glass, silicone and stainless steel, all inert materials which ensure that it won’t mess with the flavor of the coffee. Happy brewing to you.
Boring Powerpoint presentations. Long drives. Wicked hangovers. Regular Tuesday mornings. When the need for coffee strikes, it strikes with a vengeance. And there’s usually not much you can do about it, except drink some coffee. Stat. That wasn’t always easy to accomplish anytime, anywhere. Until a wonderful genius invented the coffee mug that’s about to revolutionize drinking coffee—the Hey Joe Coffee Mug($69.00). This travel-sized savior isn’t just a mug—it brews coffee right inside of itself, and it’ll keep it at the perfect temperature for as long as you tell it to. Wherever you are, whatever you’re doing, you’re just three steps away from a deliciously brewed cup of coffee. First, add water. Then, insert the coffee filter and finally, hit the button. That’s it. Hey Joe will brew itself in a matter of minutes, and maintain your cup of java at the perfect drinking temperature until the very last drop. Take that, mid-morning slump.
Somehow, you made it out of your reckless youth alive, and in one piece. But there’s still that little, tiny part of you inside that wants to scream, “Responsibility. Booooooooo! Drugs. Yaaaaaaaaaaaay!” For that tiny rebel inside, there’s the I Miss Drugs Mug($18.00). Its black matte finish and glossy white lettering, not only is this mug a lovely decorative piece for the office, it simultaneously tells your co-workers that you used to be cool and that yes, with enough prodding, you’d be down to dip into a little naughty behind the copy machine in the break room.
When you party as hard as you do (Yeezy-Kardashian got nothing on you) sometimes you need more than just a regular cup of joe to get going in the morning. A guy like you needs a punch in the face to get out of bed and Death Wish Coffee($20.00) is here to serve. The dark roast has 200% the amount of caffeine as your typical coffee shop coffee and three times the flavor. Typically, dark roast coffee has less caffeine in comparison to lighter roast coffees due to the caffeine being stricken from the bean during the roasting process. They’re even offering a 110% money back guarantee if you find a stronger, more flavorful, organic coffee on the market. Bring it as a hostess gift to Kim’s 32nd birthday part-ay. Those two could use a punch in the face.
One of your favorite loves on earth is jetting to Jamaica for the weekend and horseback riding into the Caribbean Sea (yes, those buggers can swim—Google it). Next time you ride Buttercup into the bay, make sure you’re alert as can be, with a nice cup of Jamaica Blue Mountain Marley Coffee($26.00). This java is grown and harvested in the Jamaican Blue Mountains by none other than the son of Bob Marley himself. The lightly roasted bean has a rich earthy flavor with bright acidity. True to Marley’s roots, a portion of the proceeds benefits youth soccer and sustainable farming in Jamaica. So get up, drink up… drink up for their rights.
Forget that weekend you spent Truffle Hunting with pigs in the Tuscan forest—by far the wildest foragers are the Akha tribe in Northern Thailand’s Doi Chaang Village. After collecting the dung (yes, the dung) of Wild Thai Civets, they brew the rarest, most expensive and highly sought-after coffee in the world: Kopi Luwak Coffee($55.00), now available at Dean & Deluca. Civets are cat-like, weasel-esque animals that eat only the finest, ripest 100% Arabica coffee cherries. Their digestive enzymes do magical things to the coffee beans, and when the beans emerge (in their entirety) in luwak’s dung, their smooth, mellow flavor is so unique and sublime that Kopi Luwak sells for hundreds of dollars a pound. And you thought Starbucks was expensive. Roasted to perfection in Vancouver, British Columbia, this fair trade, organic joe isn’t just for any breakfast guest. Unless of course they reciprocate white truffle pancakes.