Archive for the ‘Culture’ Category

Bytox Hangover Patch

Bytox Hangover Patch

Bytox Hangover Patch

The “Morning After” Patch

After living with the monks at the oldest Buddhist monastery in the Himalayas, you haven’t had much of an issue with self-control. However, if you do foresee some binge drinking in your future, slap on a Bytox Hangover Patch ($3.00) to keep the splitting headache and nausea at bay. The specially formulated vitamin patch replenishes the vital levels of vitamins and nutrients your body loses when you consume alcohol. While it doesn’t prevent you from getting completely smashed, it does reduce the physical side effects you feel the morning after. So rest assured that you will be able to meditate with a clear head. Happy enlightenment.

Mob Rules: Louis Ferrante

Mob Rules: Louis Ferrante

Mob Rules: Louis Ferrante

An Offer You Can’t Refuse

Growing up watching The Godfather and friends with your nightly cookies and milk, you learned a thing or two about self-preservation, i.e. always check under the covers before getting into bed, avoid a kiss from your bro at all costs, and always be prepared to go to the mattresses! Now that you’re a savvy businessman, you can recognize the professional acumen an organization like the mob possesses. And for the first time you can get a glimpse inside with Mob Rules: What the Mafia Can Teach the Legitimate Businessman. ($15.00) Penned by an “associate” of the Gambino crime family, Louis Ferrante, the book reads like a colorful mob story laced with a business how-to. The book includes eighty-eight time-tested Mafia strategies, like: How to bury the hatchet-but not in someone’s head, don’t build Yankee stadium, just supply the concrete, and leave the gun, take the cannolis. You don’t have to be a wise guy to appreciate these gems. Pick up a copy today, lest you risk swimming with the fishes.

Zima

Zima

Zima

Retro Post: 1993

Zomething Different

It’s not a beer.  It’s not a wine cooler (thank God–now maybe those two old men will finally shut their traps).  It looks like Crystal Pepsi.  But it’ll get you nice an tipsy.  What is it?  It’s Zima, and it’s invading an ice bucket near you.  This lemon-lime drink is called a Clearmalt, and it’s marketed as “Zomething Different.”  While it’s not the beverage you’d want your father to catch you drinking (you might as well strap on a pair of roller blades), it’s definitely some nectar the females in your life might enjoy. And we like to keep our ladies happy, don’t we gentlemen?

Sir Richard’s Condoms

Sir Richard’s Condoms

Sir Richard’s Condoms

Win, Win.

As a budding philanthropist and a seasoned lover, you’ll appreciate Sir Richard’s Condoms. ($14.00) For every condom sold they’ll donate one to a developing country. The company’s mission to help prevent disease and address the third-world condom shortage fits nicely with your own personal agenda–helping the less fortunate and exercising your libido. Packaged in a colorful plaid, the collection includes Ultra Thin, Classic Ribbed, Pleasure Dots, and Extra Large. And if your John is as big as your heart, we all know which one you’ll be using.

Whales Tale Pale Ale

Whales Tale Pale Ale

Whale's Tale Pale Ale

Beach Brew

The brewery down the road from your favorite summer home in Nantucket (further east than Tommy Hilfiger’s place, but if you hit Kathy Lee Gifford’s, you’ve gone too far) has joyously released their famous Whale’s Tale Pale Ale (11.00) in a can. Named in honor of the old whaling capital of the world, the Nantucket brew balances British and domestic malts with dry-hops to create an attractive pairing for most people and food. Which is good news for your annual clambake with Bill Belichick and Dorothy Hamill. She can really throw ‘em back.