The Arcade…At Home
Sure, you love the arcade. Hasn’t your name been on top of the Space Invaders’ leaderboard for as long as anyone can remember? And isn’t that your autographed picture above the door as a reminder to all who dare to enter? All true. But what if you could have that same arcade experience at home? With the Atari 2600 ($180) you can enjoy intergalactic domination without contracting a deadly virus. The personal video game console comes with two joystick controllers and a Combat game cartridge. Additional games like Space Invaders and Pac-Man are available for purchase separately. If you’re missing the crowds of adoring fans, just invite your friends over for a viewing party. Watching you blow up aliens never gets old.
Step Into Simulation Station
Scarface:“Choo want to play games?!?!”
You (In Your Head): “Yes! Yes, I do!”
Well, say hello to our little friend. The TL1 Simulator ($26,000). Although this amazing and innovative approach to Racing, Flight and First-Person-Shooter simulation is so realistic it barely feels like you’re playing a game at all, thanks to the world’s first 180 degree, spherical projector screen and variable driving position cockpit. Its unique seating system can be rotated between three positions: the Touring and GT car positions, the Eurofighter, or the extreme seating angles of a Glider or Formula 1 car, depending on which simulation software you’re enjoying at the moment. Plus its full wraparound screen, high quality, professional level projectors and genuine controls like steering wheels and pedals provide an uncanny sense of realism. Choo want to play games? Clear the next week and a half. It’s time to play.
Take a picture and upload it with the rest of the Receipt Porn on Rich Kids of Instagram.
“Ohhhhhhhhh, garcon! The tab is just so…it’s just so…it’s so BIG! I barely know what to do with it!” Well, we know what you’re going to do with it: take a picture and upload it with the rest of the Receipt Porn on Rich Kids of Instagram…Where it belongs? Or has no business being? Take a gander and decide for yourself whether a caviar-loaded, Dom Perignon-flooded, Langoustine-laden night at Nikki Beach, St. Tropez is worth $132,000. (Hard for you to judge, we know, since you get comped for pretty much everything in St. Tropez, but try for a moment to imagine life if you didn’t.) And then try and judge whether or not you’d want that sort of information publicized. If you thought you had gold diggers before, this would certainly warrant a gold rush. Incredibly excessive as it is, it’s something like watching a Kardashian marathon–you know it’s awful, but it’s pretty much impossible to look away. Wish only wish we could see their parent’s faces when they see these bills floating around interspaces and taste the rich kids’ tears when Mom and Pop cut up their plastic. Now that’s entertainment.
Protecting Your Family Jewels
Running through the Congo at night is one of your favorite pastimes, though it’s not advisable to go out without a weapon (those howler monkeys can attack out of nowhere). You learned the hard way that sprints and nun chucks don’t mix, so next time you’re out for a run, take along a Knuckle Blaster Stun Gun ($50.00). Totally as cool as it sounds, it’s shaped like a set of brass knuckles, but it’s covered in soft rubber so it’s easy and comfortable to hold. And the piece de resistance is the stun gun on the end that can send 950,000 volts of “Back the F off” through whoever’s dumb enough to mess with you, primates and humans alike. Consider yourself warned, animal kingdom.