2013 SRT Viper

2013 SRT Viper

Hypnotizing Horsepower

After spending the dry season in Morocco last year, you’ve charmed your fair share of angry vipers. Now’s your chance to earn the same reputation back home with the supercar named in their serpent’s likeness. If you can tame the 640 horsepower 2013 SRT Viper ($TBA) with 600 pound-feet of torque (the most torque of any naturally aspirated engine in the world) from a hand-assembled 8.4-liter all aluminum V10 overhead-valve engine, then the title is yours. The all-new carbon-fiber hood, roof decklid and aluminum door panels provide a significant weight reduction and improved stability. The interior features a driver-side seven-inch LCD screen, Chrysler’s 8.4-inch Uconnect Media Center, and a Kardon audio system perfect for piping in the Moroccan flute melody that will help you drive this Viper into submission.

Eton Red Cross Safety Hub

Eton Red Cross Safety Hub

Prep Yourself Before You Wreck Yourself

A guy like you could survive on nothing but bubble-gum and sweat alone. As self-sufficient as you are, it might be nice to have something to fall back on when the whole neighborhood looks to you in a crisis. The Eton Red Cross Safety Hub ($50) comes with a digital AM/FM radio, flashlight/flashing beacon red light and a USB charger. It features a rechargeable NiMH battery and an aluminum crank with Hand Turbine Technology so you’ll never worry about having fresh batteries on hand. You can keep it stowed with your emergency stash of Big League Chew.