Ok, ok, maybe you can’t control the entire universe with this new gadget, but at the very least, you can control the universe in your immediate vicinity. Introducing the Genos Cyclops Universal Remote. It not only controls your entertainment, like your TV and gaming consoles, but its full keypad allows you to type a message to your friend and send it via X-Box. No word on whether or not it lets you control your 2Pac hologram, but we’re sure with a little tinkering, you can hear “California Love” whenever you like.
While your resemblance to Batman is quite remarkable (the chiseled abs, the Bugatti Veyron Grand Sport Vitesse, a butler named Alfred Pennyworth), sometimes it can’t hurt to have a little Mr. Penguin in you. Namely in the hands. These DarkFin Gloves($25.00) will improve your performance in any water sport that involve propulsion and speed, which, let’s face it, are all the fun ones. The company uses superior materials, a confidential rubber-dipping process and follows a unique design, backed by 20 years of studying water sports and marine life. Give Alfred the night off and pick up a pair for Vicky Vale too—this could make hot tub Tuesdays that much more fun.
The Maserati Gran Turismo has been known to inspire all kinds of things. Long, gratuitous drives down windy roads. Impromptu bikini shoots on the hood. Probably more than one or two unexpected buns in the oven. But today, we salute the hottest car design to be inspired by the Gran Turismo—the Maserati Grand Finale Concept Car. The brainchild of a designer and architect student from Slovenia named Rok of RS Design, the Grand Finale has a whole new body kit, with a carbon fiber front splitter, big front and side air intakes, rear brake ducts and a wider, more aggressive stance. If that’s not enough to inspire a romp on the hood, we don’t know what is.
You know what goes great with pancakes and bacon? Coffee that tastes like pulverized pancakes and bacon. Tell the chef at your beachside hacienda to brew up a pot of Maple Bacon Coffee($14.00) tomorrow morning, and every morning after that for the rest of eternity. It’s made with the finest Arabica coffee beans, then small batch roasted to perfection, and infused with the tantalizing flavors of sweet maple syrup and mouth-watering bacon. A few cups of this plus your views of the Caribbean Sea, and there isn’t really a better way to start the day.
Before you ever parachuted out of a blimp, or rappelled down the side of a building (both before your 14th birthday, for the record), you always wondered what it would be like to parachute out of a blimp or rappel down the side of a building. And wouldn’t it be cool if you could experience it all live through someone else’s eyes? The developers at Google thought so. And today, they made it happen with their new Google Glass Explorer Edition Glasses in a live publicity stunt at the Google hangout in San Francisco. These network-enabled, computerized glasses have the ability to broadcast and capture everything the person wearing them sees. As light as a pair of sunglasses, a touch panel on the side of the frames can take photos and videos, while a transparent screen displays information. The actual lenses sit above your eyes, so you can still maintain eye contact with anyone you interact with, and capture expressions and events naturally as they happen, without any distractions. The idea is that you’ll be able to capture life as it happens, without letting moments pass you by while fumbling for a camera. For now, this “bleeding edge” technology will only be available to a small group Google I/O attendees in the U.S. early next year for a cool $1,500 a pair, but perhaps you can pull a few strings and snag some of those suckers for your upcoming base jumping tour in Peru.
Important things happen at your desk. Mergers. Acquisitions. Intense Youtube-ing sessions (OMG, could Keyboard Cat BE any funnier?). But perhaps a more seamless (and slightly more productive) idea for your desk is the iDesk Concept Workstation. Though it’s just a concept now (read: not in production), the idea is that any iProduct you place on your desk would instantly be able to interact with not just the desk, but one another. Plus, you could connect to iTunes to easily update content on your iCloud, making all cords and wires obsolete. A very awesome concept, that you might actually consider funding…right after you watch Keyboard Cat just ONE more time…
Though your Navy Seal training, volunteer firefighting and anaconda-grappling workouts keep you pretty fit, you’re always looking for ways to up your game. And when it comes to jumping rope (still one of the best cardio workouts around), you’re only as fast as your rope. So get a faster rope. Like the Rogue Bearing Speed Rope($22.00). It’s got a six-inch, rotating handle for an unbreakable grip, which is also tapered for comfort and made of indestructible glass-filled nylon resin. Its bearing system consists of 4 Hi-Precision Cartridge Ball Bearings, and the rope itself is a 10 foot red coated 3/32” speed cable with one adjustable end and one fixed end. Jump up on it.
You enjoy a good romp in the bush as much as the next guy (the South African bush, of course), but the luxurious and rustic Makanyane Safari Lodge in South Africa($700+) takes things to whole new level. Designed by a team of award-winning architects to effortlessly blend in with the surrounding bush of the Madikwe Game Reserve, this is a special place indeed. Overlooking the Marco River, with fantabulous views, the lodge consists of a main building and eight incredible suites, each with fireplaces, enormous picture windows, indoor and outdoor showers, and of course, free-standing, clawfooted bathtubs just begging you to slip into a hot and bubbly after a hard day’s safari. Lest we not forget, there’s a well-equipped gym, spa, and onsite restaurant serving up delicious local food and superb South African wines, straight out of its extensive wine cellar. Roughing it in the bush? Not exactly.
No, we’re not referring to your harem of bathing beauties, though it is fun to watch them play “Chicken” at your request, all the live long day. In this case, we’re referring to the Remote Control Snack & Drink Pool Float($55.00), aka the most genius invention ever (sorry, internet). This motorized radio control drink float can hold up to five drinks, plus a bowl of snacks, and can be easily controlled from any poolside perch. Buy two and race your friends across the pool. Last mojito to the diving board is a rotten egg!
One of the most lovable things about Mercedes is that there’s a vehicle for every side of your personality, from their sexy spots cars, to the playful Mercedes AMG Marauder Cigaraette Boat to the tough G-Wagon LAPV 6.X, and now the rugged, yet head-turning 2013 Mercedes-Benz G-Class. This year’s model is just teeming with new technologies borrowed from their passenger car lineup, like their COMAND multimedia interface that features navigation and in-car Internet access, Parktronic park assist (not that you need assistance), Blind Spot Assist, and Distronic Plus adaptive cruise control. The center console has had quite the facelift as well, with an iPad-inspired navigation screen at the top of the dash, plus your choice of customizable interior options. The US has two available models: the G550, with a standard aspirated 5.5-liter V8 capable of 388 hp and 391 lb-ft of torque, and the G63 AMG, with its all-new, twin-turbo 5.5-liter V8 that offers 544hp and 560 lb-ft of torque. Decisions, decisions…
No Unicorns Were Harmed In The Making Of This Lip Balm
We know what you’re thinking. ANOTHER unicorn fart flavored item? ENOUGH already. Well, what can you do? When something’s delicious, it catches on. Supply and demand, kids. This Unicorn Farts Lip Balm($4.00) tastes exactly as you’d expect—like spearmint and pink cotton candy (aka unicorn farts). It’s made of natural beeswax, unrefined cocoa butter, unrefined shea butter, jojoba, sweet almond, grape seed oils, vitamin E and flavor oil, which combines into a creamy balm that will leave your lips soft and protected. So how do they get those magical beasts to produce all those magical farts? Magical beans, of course.