A TV Setup You Can Get In2
As the long line of polo champions in your family proves, the Apple indeed does not fall far from the tree. So it should come as no surprise that a former Apple engineer, Tod Beauchamp, along with a Sony engineering exec Mike Fidler, are redefining the home theatre, much like Apple redefined…well, pretty much everything. Introducing the Unity All-In-One Home Theater System by In2technologies. It’s designed to combine high-quality sound and picture with a consumer-friendly setup that’s so easy it should take under 15 minutes. It features a DVD/Blu-ray player, iPad/iPhone dock, and the TV stand itself is comprised of a left, right, and center speaker, in addition to dual subwoofers. All you need is a single HDMI cable to connect it to your flat screen, and poof! Technology at its finest. Gather dad and grandpa around—the polo classic is about to begin.
Cue The Hi-Hat
Jazz Hands—much like jalapeños, hair product, and crying to get what you want—are to be used sparingly. But The Perfect Jazz Collection ($41.00) is something you can never get enough of, especially in the company of the ladies. This 25 CD box set collection has the original recordings of every jazz master to ever grace a smoky stage, from Louis Armstrong to Billie Holiday, Miles Davis, Chet Baker, the Thelonius Monk Quartet, Nina Simone, Herbie Hancock and Charlie Parker, plus many, many more. Bust out your porkpie hat, and put on your toe-tapping shoes—it’s getting very cool in here.
The Mushroom Kingdom Kicks
Gamers and cool kicks go hand in hand like the peanut butter and jelly in a Candwich, and leave it to Converse Japan to marry the two together with style. The Converse One Star Super Mario Bros. OX pay tribute to those tiny, mustached, turtle-stomping, brick-breaking, overall-wearing little buggers we all know and love—Mario and Luigi. The One Star of Converse and the Mario Bros. star do indeed seem to be a match made in heaven, with a yellow star appearing on the side of both the white and black leather versions of the shoe. Critters from the video game can also be found lurking on the sides, at the heel and on the insole. Wait ‘til Princess Toadstool gets a load of these.
Weird Name. Cool Car.
Much like the covert ops of some of your top assignments (Meow-Cat Eraserface, Kentucky Friend Wombat, Cheesy Poof McGraw—if you told anyone what they mean, you’d have to kill them), the name Gumpert Apollo Enraged gives the unsuspecting outsider no clue as to exactly how special, awesome and exciting it really is. Unveiled at the 82nd Geneva International Motor Show, German automaker Gumpert has put out a purebred racecar, with an Audi-sourced, supercharged 4.2-liter V8 touting 760 hp of pure, hot muscle—the most powerful street-legal car ever to peel out of its factory showroom. With its gull-wing doors, F1-style airbox, an air lift system, LED daytime running lights, and aluminum alloy wheels with center-locking and Michelin Pilot Super Sport tires, the Apollo Enraged waits for no man, woman or rocket launcher. Perhaps it might even come in handy on Operation Foxstep Tango Bunsen Burner…
Die Dust Bunnies, Die!
To a woman, there’s nothing more sexy than a man who can really clean. Aside from prancing around in a French Maid’s costume (you only did that once and destroyed all evidence…you’re pretty sure), the next sexiest thing you could whip out is the Escargot Vacuum ($130) from Toshiba. Smaller than a basketball, this little powerhouse not only packs 40% more air-wattage than a Dyson handheld, it’s also quieter than a hairdryer, and is compact enough to hide away in even the tiniest of corners. So go ahead. Suck those dust bunnies into oblivion and give Chloe a nice little show.
Can You Hear Me Now?
Last time you were using ear buds to listen to slow jams on your iphone, you missed the call from Richard Branson, and you’ve been caught in a painful game of phone tag ever since. Upgrade to the Atomic Floyd’s Minidart Headphones ($316), and in addition to great sound quality, you’ll never miss a call again. The headphones come with a headphone jack that’s equipped with a mic and phone controls like “answer” and “end call.” The ear buds themselves are made of metal with silicone eartips, which means they’re strong enough for your cab to run over but soft enough to sit in your ears for hours on end. They also block out ambient noise and prevent others from listening in, which is nice when your Marvin Gaye comes on. They come in a protective leather pouch along with a ¼” stereo jack and an airplane dual prong adapter. When you and Richard finally connect and he offers you a seat on his Virgin Galactic Gateway to Space flight, just remember who hooked you up.
This Ship Has Sailed
With your assortment of exotic furniture rapidly expanding (that Octopus Chair really suits you), you’ll need a nice antique to round out the collection. Normally we wouldn’t recommend something sourced from China, but we’ll make an exception for the Shipwood Dark Cabinet II ($1,500). Repurposing antique pieces of recycled ship wood from old fishing boats that sailed on the Pearl, Li, Yangtze and Huang Rivers in Southern China, the cabinet integrates salvaged wood into a modern design. Every cabinet is unique with imperfection; some pieces include Douglas fir and Teak Wood from boats as old as the Qing Dynasty. Not many people can say that they keep their video game consoles on a shelf from the 16th Century.
You know that sustainable indoor ski resort idea you had a few years ago? The one you discussed after a few drinks with those friendly travelers in the airport VIP lounge…what were their names? Anders and Sven? Well, apparently Anders and Sven followed through with the plans, as Stockholm will soon be the home of Skipark360, the world’s first year-round, green ski resort. The resort will feature a man-made ski hill with a vertical drop of 160 meters (525 ft) and will be the only facility of its kind to meet the requirements of the World Cup. In addition to the downhill run, the complex will contain a 3.5 km cross-country skiing tunnel, an arena for biathlons, ice hockey, figure skating, a snow park for snowboarding and a resort and spa. The entire resort will be powered by geothermal, solar, wind and hydropower to achieve net zero energy and be totally self-sufficiency. Construction is expected to begin in 2013 or 2014, which gives you some time to draft up your cease and desist letter.
A consummate carnivore, you proudly subsist on the five main food groups: pork, beef, chicken, fish, and turkey. You can’t really call yourself a meat lover though, until you own and operate a smoker. The professional-grade Masterbuilt Digital Smoker ($290) will ease you in to the art of smoking like a pro. Featuring a digital thermostat-controlled heating element that adjusts up to 275 degrees, you’re pretty much guaranteed even, consistent cooking. Four smoking racks in 640 square inches of cooking space allow for up to 25 lbs of food. The large tempered glass-viewing window eliminates the need to open the door and lose all that hard-earned heat. It also comes with a remote control that allows you to monitor the temperature and timing of the cooker from afar, so you can join your buddies inside watching the game without risking your ribs. Once you’ve smoked your first rack you won’t go back.
Worth The Weight
Since you bench press twice your body weight on a regular basis, we don’t have to tell you about the importance of a good strength-to-weight ratio. Which is what the Delta 7 Arantix Mountain Bike has in spades. Designed with its patented IsoTruss carbon fiber and Kevlar open-lattice spider-web tubes, the Delta 7 frame only weighs 2.74 lbs. The geometric design of isosceles triangles and pyramid-shaped trusses provide incredible structural support despite the minimal materials. Only 200 of the high-performance American-made frames were created, so you might need to throw your weight around to get one.
Back To Basics
Even if you can’t remember a time when people would phone your house to reach you, or even called you on your cell phone instead of texting, that doesn’t mean you can’t appreciate a good old-fashioned calling and answering phone. It doesn’t take a Luddite to realize that all the features crammed into smartphones for our convenience (GPS, MP3 player, Bluetooth, Camera, address book, instant messenger, SMS, touch screen etc.) can complicate its original purpose. John’s Simple Phone ($115) is made for just two things: making and answering phone calls. No touchscreen here, just a simple keypad. It does come with a paper address book and pen affixed to the back should you need to write down a number. Try it out for nostalgia’s sake; it could be fun to hear what your friends and family’s phone voices actually sound like.