Quick: what’s the best way to describe a mullet? No, not a Canadian waterfall (but good answer). The answer we were looking for was “business in the front, party in the rear.” Because this Surface Tension Arcade Table($4,500) follows pretty much the same philosophy. At first glance, it’s a sophisticated, dark glass and wood coffee table. But look a little closer and a world of old-school arcade fun opens up. That glass? It’s really an LCD screen programmed to play video games. That sliding panel? It’s not a drawer that holds coasters and Enya CD’s, it’s hiding a Shuttle PC system, plus a panel equipped with arcade buttons and joysticks. Each style—the Double7, Arcane and Dual—is pre-installed with classic games (the first two models have over 100), and all three of them are handsome enough to grace even the classiest of living spaces. So your Pacman-loving secret is safe with us.
When your living room boasts the Geneva Lab Home Theater Sound System it only makes sense to try and replicate that experience in the bedroom. And the Geneva Sound System Model S ($300) does not disappoint (in the audio category that is…). Geneva packs an iPod/iPhone, FM, Speakers, and amplifier all into one high fidelity clock radio. With TouchLight controls that brighten on contact and a motorized PowerDock that spins open, we could see why you and your Swiss Miss might be tempted to experiment with it.
You and Chuck Liddell go way back. You gave him dating advice and stock tips—he gave you tips about grappling and his signature sprawl-and-brawl technique. He’s a great guy. But he’s not around to train you all the time. Luckily, the Nexersys($7,750) is. This incredibly unique system is interactive and intelligent, designed to deliver a high intensity MMA Interval Training workout through technique, strike, core and cardio video training, plus Avatar sparring rounds. It’s simple: four minute video rounds include 30 seconds of warmup and instruction, 3 minutes of active exercise and a 30 second recap and cool down. You hit seven strike pads in key target zones, and the Nexersys records the velocity, angle and action of each strike, then analyzes the data for your performance feedback at the end of the workout. Pretty freakin’ cool, huh? Now next time Chuck swings by, you can show him how well you kick Avatarass.
If you’ve ever had any doubt that potatoes truly are God’s gift to man (French Fries, Ruffles, Tater Tots, Spuds that look like Newt Gingrich), we have further proof of their divinity: 44° North Vodka($36.00). This handcrafted spirit is lovingly and naturally made from pure Idaho potatoes and Rocky Mountain Water from the pristine Snake River Aquifer. It goes through a five-column, multi-plate distillation process that elevates the proof of the alcohol while stripping out virtually all the impurities. The result is a smooth, delicious vodka that beats the olives off the big, industrially-sourced, over-distilled, artificially flavored stuff. Speaking of flavors, 44° North also comes flavored with either Mountain Huckleberries or Rainier Cherries. Can I get an “Amen!”
Your underwater adventures are numerous and daring enough to rival those of Jacques Cousteau, but there’s really just one thing you’ve never felt comfortable with. Those damn flippers. They’re awkward, they’re ugly, and you have to walk backwards in them. The whole affair is quite unseemly. Well, now you have a new alternative to scuba gear and the dumb fins that go with it—Aqua Star’s AS1 Underwater Diving Scooter . It was designed to allow just about anybody to experience the awesomeness that lives under the sea—no certification, cumbersome gear or experience required. Just sit in your very own breathing environment (the diving style helmet contains all the breathing apparatus), and operate the controls as you would a regular motorbike—turn the handlebars for direction and push the batons for speed and depth. The scooter has two electric motors: one for forward movement, and the other for vertical movement. This ensures control, maneuverability and safety, at depths of up to 40 ft. If Nemo doesn’t claim to be jealous of this thing, tell him he’s a fish-faced liar and send him packing to your Fishscape Fish Bowl.