Let’s be honest. Your dog is more than just a dog. He’s a wingman. A furry, irresistible wingman, adept at helping you pull tail (no pun intended) wherever the two of you may roam. That means it’s your job to keep him looking his finest. On days when his Humunga Stache is a bit too casual, we’d like to suggest The Leather Martini Bowtie Dog Collar($70.00). Made to order by its designer in California (where else?), this piece is crafted from the finest, softest, locally-sourced lambskin and cowhide leathers, and sturdy nickel hardware. Choose from a vast array of colors, from California Tangerine to Poolside Blue, then brace yourself for some serious heavy petting from all your newly-made friends.
Forget about how far removed you are from Kevin Bacon–your main concern should be how far you are from a bottle of this. Bakon Vodka($26.00) is exactly what it sounds like–smooth, high-quality vodka with a savory bacon flavor. Racking up all kinds of awards in 2010, from the likes of The Tasting Panel, SIP International Awards, the Beverage Tasting Institute and Beverage World, this delicious infusion took two years to perfect. It starts with superior Idaho potatoes, and is column-distilled using a single heating process, then infused with the essence of crisp, heavenly, peppered-bacon. The result is a clean, smoky, bacon-flavored spirit that’s a must in your next Bloody Mary, or any one of their featured concoctions, like The Pickled Bakon Martini, a Waffle Shot, Salted Caramel Bakon Martini, or The Elvis Presley (as you can imagine, there’s a banana involved). It’s the perfect thing to serve next time Kevin and Keira come over for brunch.
Your apartment is a vast and many-splendored place. There are many things to do and play with, such as your Shelby Slot Car Racetrack, Arcade Table, and Space Invader Salt and Pepper Shakers. The last thing you want to do is stand over a pot of water and wait for it to boil. Now, you don’t have to. Just drop the Quirky Boil Buoy($10.00) in your pot of water, crank up the heat, and listen for the ringing chime that lets you know your water’s boiling and ready to go. An enclosed foam core keeps the Boil Buoy afloat, and a weighted bottom ensures that its stainless steel chime stays upright and ready to ring. And don’t you worry, the Boil Buoy is made from 100% food-and heat-safe materials–you just focus on your Bonzini B90 Foosball Game and leave the hard stuff to us.
That whole debacle with the last island you bought taught you a very important lesson–if you’re in a fixed position, there’s no telling who might drop by unannounced (damn you, Richard Branson). The solution? A tropical paradise that floats. Introducing the Tropical Island Paradise by Yacht Island Design, an idyllic, floating island customizable to your own taste. The main design starts off with an open-face swimming pool, fed by a waterfall, streaming down from a volcano. You with us? Good. Beside the pool is the main deck, with guest cabanas, a bar and outdoor dining, while to the back, you can enjoy an optional helicopter landing pad, or deployable beach deck that sits out on the open sea. For use, of course, when you’re not inside enjoying the cinema, library, game rooms, gym, or fully equipped spa. Let’s see Branson try and crash your party now. Bwhahahahaha!
People have often told you they wish they could bottle your energy, whether it’s on the dance floor, the trading floor, or the Burger King bathroom floor. Well, now you can tell those people their wish has come true, with the nPower PEG (Personal Energy Generator)($190). It’s a backup battery charger that uses the energy you generate while walking, running or biking to charge your hand-held electronics, like a cell phone, MP3 player, or GPS device. Just drop the nPower PEG in your pocket, briefcase or backpack, go about your business, and let the world’s first passive kinetic energy charger do its thing. Maybe this way, your electronics stand a chance to keep up with you.