A man in your position (aka the Top of the Heap) tends to be surrounded by yes men, making getting a straight answer damn near impossible. Now you can finally get an objective opinion that doesn’t aim to please. The Magic 8-Ball Predict A Pen($7.00) is similar to the bowling-like ball of your youth, full of wit, wisdom and vague platitudes, now in a convenient pocket size. When you’re having trouble deciding between the Lamborghini Estoque or the Mercedes McLaren just whip out the pen and give it a shake. You’ll find the frank responses, “Not for a million dollars,” “Dude, No Way,” and “Hell Yeah” a refreshing change to the usual pandering. At the end of the day this soothsayer is still a pen, which will come in handy when you’re signing autographs.
Are your iPhone’s speakers just not cutting it when you play back the latest video of last night’s party guests waking up in the pool? Or perhaps your mobile karaoke business just isn’t mobile enough? The TDK Sound Cube($270) can help. It provides dominant, dynamic sound in a unique compact design that works anywhere, inside or out. Just like you. Two coaxial drivers fill any room with rich sound while an equalizer gives your music a visual heartbeat and rotary dials give you control over the music source, volume and tone. Inputs include USB, 3.5mm and auxiliary ports that let you connect (and charge) an iPod, iPhone, smartphone or USB flash drive. You can even plug in your guitar or microphone and mix with other music sources. You’re a one-man army of sound solutions. Now get out there and rock that open mic on the subway!
Knowledge is power. And knowing what’s going on everywhere in the world at once pretty much makes you a God. Embrace your omniscience with Revo’s Domino Wi-Fi($130), which gives anyone with a hi-fi set-up and Wi-Fi broadband access to over 16,000 radio stations from across the universe. This is the definitive device for freedom in radio. Nothing to install, nothing to download, no subscriptions and no limits — just plug and play. Revo Wi-Fi connects to any sound system that has RCA inputs and links to any broadband Wi-Fi connection to stream internet radio broadcasts. Simply search by genre or country. You can also play music from any networked computer in your home. And it has an alarm clock too. You’ll never miss a Yankees game when you’re in Tokyo ever again. Amen.
Your personal trainer is great, but beyond just promising to wear deodorant every day, what’s he really done for you lately? The amazing Polar RCX5 Training Watch($419) does everything he can do and doesn’t need a Christmas card. This incredible piece of equipment has a multitude of features for the serious endurance trainer. It keeps track of your heart rate and pace, even in the water, then enters it into an online database that analyses the data and recommends the perfect training program for you to achieve maximum performance. It can track your mileage, pace and route with GPS. It even has a Race Pace function to make sure you reach the finish line just in time to have a serious talk with your personal trainer.
As you and Buzz Aldrin discussed the last time you went out for a few beers, gravity is kind of a drag. Wouldn’t it be great if things could hover without regard for pesky gravity? Well, apparently they can, as a team of engineers at Rock Paper Robot bring you the slick and futuristic Float Table($16,250). The 64 wooden cubes are held in place by the magical power of magnets making the blocks appear like they are floating in the air. There are also steel cables in the back that keep the whole thing together. The table flexes when you touch it and then bounces back into shape. Wait ‘til Buzz gets a load of this.
If you’ve got a few mil’ burning a whole in your pocket (per usual) we’ve got the car for you. The Koenigsegg Agera R, like your leggy girlfriend, hails from Sweden and means, “to act,” and that’s putting it lightly. It boasts 1,115 horsepower, 885 pound-feet of torque from a 5.0L twin-turbo V8, and has broken no less than six world speed records. The Swedish supercar can go from 0-100 in less than three seconds. It’s fast. Now that’s a word that even Annika understands.
Did you know that in addition to being great exotic pets, and flinging feces, monkeys are useful for all kinds of things? Especially the Fridge Monkey($12.00), which helps maintain order to a collection of beer, soda cans or wine bottles in a delicious and beautifully organized pyramid. (And your Craftworks Toolbox Garage Refrigerator could use a little bit of order.) This easy, washable, rubber mat has perfectly spaced grooves that let you stack up to ten cans or bottles of soda or beer, or five wine bottles in a pyramid that would make any ancient Egyptian proud. Good little monkey.
Ever since you could run you’ve been challenging people to race. First on foot, then on bikes, and eventually that car chase that landed your best friend in juvie (hey, it’s better than ending up in traction). Now you can own the bike from racing legend and American icon Steve McQueen. Based on the Triumph Trophy TR6 that McQueen rode in “The Great Escape,” the Steve McQueen Edition Motorcycle features a strong steel chassis, cast alloy wheels, five-speed manual transmission, and a fuel injected DOHC engine that gets 67 hp. With your rugged good looks and daredevil antics people just might mistake you for a reincarnated version of Mr. McQueen himself.
When traders use your name as a synonym for profit (i.e. “we made a huge Jason Gilman on that hedge fund”), and the Nasdaq pretty much rises and falls at your every whim, you my friend (aka Jason Gilman), have hit the big time. But all this gravitas won’t mean a thing if you’re late to the market. Strap on the one and only Breitling Superocean Abyss Black Dial Watch($2,835) with a stainless steel case, scratch resistant sapphire crystal, Swiss automatic movement and 1500 meters of water resistance to ensure you’ll always arrive fashionably on time.
Anyone who’s lucky enough to call you a friend knows that it’s only a matter of time before they call you their best man. If not for your unparalleled public speaking abilities, then for your epic bachelor parties that would make Charlie Sheen cry. Urban Mercenaries have something that you can add to your party-planning arsenal. What they’re calling The Football($500) is actually an aluminum briefcase filled with Tequila, Vodka, Red Bull, shot glasses, martini shaker, and a host of other amenities that will take a “guys’ night out” to tiger blood levels. Throw in some Nub Cigars and you’ve got yourself a gentleman’s party. Did we mention the pair of handcuffs that come with every briefcase? They’re intended to keep the case with groom at all times, but we’re pretty sure you’ve got more creative uses for them. WINNING!
Since you’ve only been wrong once in your life (and that was on purpose), you won’t relate to F in Exams($7.00), but who doesn’t enjoy a good chuckle at other people’s failure? F in Exams is a compilation of creative test answers provided by students who didn’t have a chance in hell of getting it right, so threw out a Hail Mary instead. Whether its Mariah Carey listed as the highest frequency noise that a human can register, or the one thing in common that Mahatma Gandhi and Genghis Khan have is unusual names, these 250 entries prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that sometimes being wrong can still feel so right.
The F430 Ferrari Spider in your garage won’t do you any good when you’re in Dubai on business. If you miss her sleek lines and impressive horsepower then you should visit the Ferrari World Theme Park in Abu Dhabi. Just 50 minutes from Dubai, the world’s largest indoor (and only) Ferrari theme park is full of attractions featuring your favorite luxury sports car. Experience the thrill of Formula 1 racing, challenge your friend to a race in the GT coaster, or go behind the scenes at the Maranello factory. With a footprint large enough to fit seven football fields head to toe you’ll be sure to satisfy your jonesing for your beloved black stallion.
Even though you’re professionally trained in Jujutsu, kickboxing, and African stick fighting, you can never be too prepared. In addition to your mad combat skillz, it wouldn’t hurt to have your furniture double as a weapon. The Woodsman Axe Coffee Table ($815), by London designer Chris Duffy comes in a walnut or light oak veneer top and is supported by four solid hickory handled axes. Inspired by the Brothers Grimm tales, the table is a minimalist coffee table gone rogue. Whether it’s an unwanted intruder or a shortage of firewood, The Woodsman table has you covered. And if things go horribly awry, there’s always Autum’s Heretic Coffin Couch.
Why swim with the dolphins if you can be one? The Seabreacher X is a dolphin-inspired submersible watercraft that can make high-speed dives and launch out of the water like a breaching sea mammal. The 260hp engine can propel the vessel up to 50 mph on the surface and 25 mph below. And while you’re under there, the snorkel-mounted video camera transmits live video to LCD screens for your viewing pleasure. Just in case you get adopted by a playful school of dolphins, the Seabreacher also comes with GPS navigation. No, we will not call you Flipper.
If you had just one box set to bring with you on your solo sailing trip around the world, it would have to be United Artists’ 90th Anniversary Prestige Collection($380). With ninety, yes NINETY movies from the past almost-century, this puppy runs a massive movie gamut from old classics to new, like “Some Like It Hot,” “The Magnificent Seven,” “Rocky,” “Midnight Cowboy,” “Annie Hall,” “Raging Bull,” “Goldeneye,” and even “Hotel Rwanda.” You will certainly run out of popcorn before running out of movies, and you might even circle the world without having to repeat a title. Then again, you might also just watch “Rain Man” on loop from here to Timbuktu. Either way.
The ladies in your life have grown accustomed to your specific brand of sweet nothings. And you can’t let a few hours of shuteye or liver pate thwart your performance. Dr. Keightley’s Mouthwash Concentrate No 117($12.00) from C.O. Bigelow is backed by 173 years of apothecary genius.
The oral rinse is formulated with Cinnamon, Peppermint, Clove, Anise and Spearmint oils that ensure fresh breath and good oral health. The red cocktail comes in an old-timey bottle that would feel right at home in your liqueur cabinet. One swig of this and your inamoratas will be the only ones holding their breath.
Whether you’re tailgating, shooting hoops, or playing polo, the Yamaha PDX-11 Portable Speaker($100) can hang. The rugged octagonal iPod dock features a 4-inch woofer and a separate tweeter that pulls power from an AC adapter or six AA-batteries for eight hours of playback. You can mount your iPhone or iPod up top or hook up a PC, Mac or other audio player via a mini-jack in the back. The speaker’s metal carry handle and grill make it easy to take your tunes outdoors – and at only 3 pounds, can you really justify leaving Queen’s Greatest Hits at home?
As one of the first mountaineers to summit Everest during the winter without oxygen, you’re no stranger to snow. And when it comes to self-preservation you’re no slouch (we won’t ask about the other climbers in your party). Which is why you’ll want to add the Slinging Snowball Xistera($25.00) to your arsenal of winter preparedness. The snow slinger can hurl snowballs up to 150 feet and the handle has a built-in mold that presses scooped snow into a tightly packed snowball, giving you the tactical advantage in any snowball fight. It will almost make up for the three fingers you lost to frost bite.