Eat My Powder
Whether it was Grindhouse or the Demi Moore years, we’ve all wanted to be Bruce Willis at some point or another. Well now you can live out your Die Hard 2 fantasy with the Yamaha Apex Snowmobile ($14,000). Powered by a 4-stroke engine with 998cc displacement, it won’t be hard to catch the bad guys. The new design is equipped with features that make it comfortable to ride harder, faster and longer, which is something Demi would appreciate. Useful now that Ashton has been kicked to the curb.
Milk With A Kick!
Life was so much simpler when you were a kid. You had one classic Ferrari (matchbox), all your money fit in a piggy bank, and property taxes were just a twinkle in your future estate manager’s eye. Now when you’re longing for the good ole days you can pour yourself a glass of Adult Chocolate Milk ($17.00) It’s got the classic chocolate milk taste chased with a bit of vodka the grown up you can appreciate. Next on the agenda? Tequila-soaked chicken nuggets.
When you invite a woman back to your place it’s important that it make a good first impression. An apartment full of tapestries and milk crates is not even going to get you to second base. You need some high-end statement pieces that convey you ingest more than Bud Light and Top Ramen. The Octopus Chair by artist Maximo Riera is guaranteed to impress. The octopus sculpture is created from compressed foam that is attached and hand painted to look biologically accurate. The tentacles extend 1.5 meters and the armchair itself is upholstered in luxurious black leather. The striking art piece is the perfect throne for your lair. But you might want to cover the hauntingly realistic eyes if you are lucky enough to get down to business.
Ask And Ye Shall Receive
A man in your position (aka the Top of the Heap) tends to be surrounded by yes men, making getting a straight answer damn near impossible. Now you can finally get an objective opinion that doesn’t aim to please. The Magic 8-Ball Predict A Pen ($7.00) is similar to the bowling-like ball of your youth, full of wit, wisdom and vague platitudes, now in a convenient pocket size. When you’re having trouble deciding between the Lamborghini Estoque or the Mercedes McLaren just whip out the pen and give it a shake. You’ll find the frank responses, “Not for a million dollars,” “Dude, No Way,” and “Hell Yeah” a refreshing change to the usual pandering. At the end of the day this soothsayer is still a pen, which will come in handy when you’re signing autographs.
A Box That Can Play Pandora
Are your iPhone’s speakers just not cutting it when you play back the latest video of last night’s party guests waking up in the pool? Or perhaps your mobile karaoke business just isn’t mobile enough? The TDK Sound Cube ($250) can help. It provides dominant, dynamic sound in a unique compact design that works anywhere, inside or out. Just like you. Two coaxial drivers fill any room with rich sound while an equalizer gives your music a visual heartbeat and rotary dials give you control over the music source, volume and tone. Inputs include USB, 3.5mm and auxiliary ports that let you connect (and charge) an iPod, iPhone, smartphone or USB flash drive. You can even plug in your guitar or microphone and mix with other music sources. You’re a one-man army of sound solutions. Now get out there and rock that open mic on the subway!