Last time you brought your cellphone to bed it caused a booty boycott. If only there was a way to talk on your phone without looking like it. Enter the Color Ring Wireless Cell Phone. What looks like snazzy man jewelry is actually a speaker and headset. Simply hold your hand up to you ear (like a phone) while you keep your cell stashed close by, and let the conversation commence. It might make you look like you’re deep in the throws of some strange role-play, but it will most definitely keep your actual phone under wraps. No word yet on a device to hide your texting habit, trust us, when we hear about one, you’re the first one we’ll call.
Even if you pretty much own the yellow jersey, you’re going to need to lock up your bike between stages at the Tour de France. The Küat Bottle Lock($29.00) is a clever faux water bottle filled with a 5 foot long steel cable bike lock. It fits perfectly into the water bottle clip on your frame so no one will be the wiser. If they overlooked one small thing in the design it’s that now you have no place to hold actual water. But we all know that water is for amateurs, so you should be fine.
Paris and Miley might get away with carrying their pooches around in their purse, but your full-size English Mastiff is another story. Taking him out for a jog is one thing but you don’t always have time to fetch a leash when you’re hopping on a last-minute red-eye to Bangkok. Dashing out the door with Spartacus on a moment’s notice will be a whole lot easier with the SuperCollar ($40.00). It’s the first dog collar with a built-in retractable leash that allows you to gain immediate control of your dog without attaching a leash. It’s about time that pup started carrying his own weight.
You don’t need an overproduced reality show to prove you can survive in the jungle; your insane whip collection and Stelton Pure Black Knives are proof enough. It wouldn’t hurt your image though to add an Ural Patrol T Sidecar Motorcycle ($13,000) to the mix. The 40 hp and 749cc engine from Russia emulates the thirties, wartime-era motorcycles with a modern twist. The only thing keeping you from Harrison Ford territory is a trusty sidekick.
Considering all the time you spend building things–your reputation, a financial empire, a Starburst rendition of The Thinker, it’s no wonder you sometimes find it fun to destroy things once in a while. And although punching through a wall CAN be exhilarating, it’s hard on the knuckles. So why not give the Annihilator($27.00) a try? The 18” utility wrecking bar lives up to its name with a demolition hammer, nail puller, and axe. There’s no halfway with this extreme demolition instrument; once it hits your drywall, crown molding, or ex-girlfriend’s love seat they’ll be maimed for life. You’ll find the hammerhead that doubles as a bottle-opener a nice plus after a hard day’s work.