If there’s anything you like to keep more manicured than your body hair, it’s your girlfriend’s body hair. But the greens on your golf course are a close second. And the Segway x2 Golf ($8,000) helps keep that course meticulous, while adding a nice little dollop of fun. The x2 Golf was designed specifically for the links, with extra wide tires, a range of 14 miles (that should cover all 36 holes), plus a special Golf Bag Carrier Attachment, and Scorecard Holder, to keep your scorecard, balls and tees at the quick and ready. Last one to wheel to the clubhouse is a rotten egg!
Cover Up Those Assets
What with all the holidays parties you’ve been invited to, your wool kilt has been getting a LOT of use lately. And every time you strap it on, you think the same thing: “If only I had a woolen iPad cover to match.” Well, my brother, you’re in luck. The Pad Stash by Nau ($75.00) is a stylish way to stash your iPad. Die-cut from sustainable wool felt, this durable case doubles as a stand for easy viewing. They even considerately included some soft security pockets and a SIM card slot so you can keep yourself organized. As for the draft up your kilt, sorry, we can’t help you there.
Over the last decade, sporty luxury SUV’s have become a lot like you–everybody wants a piece of the action. Far be it from Maserati to sit this one out. Meet the newly remodeled Maserati Kubang SUV ($103,000). First introduced in 2003 in response to the Porsche Cayenne, the Kubang has been lovingly redesigned, repackaged and re-released into the wild, all under the tasteful eye of Maserati’s Lorenzo Ramaciotti. The basis of the Kubang is actually a Jeep Grand Cherokee, but the engine, suspension, steering and brakes are pure Maserati. You can expect an AT eight-speed automatic transmission, and a choice of several new engines, all designed by ex-Ferrari F1 engine designer Paolo Martinelli. With a Maserati pricetag, we’re not sure you’ll want to take this puppy off-roading, but again, like you, it sure is nice to look at.
Style Is All In Your Head
Your route across Eurasia is just about finalized, and your customized Falcon Bullet is raring to go. That means the only thing you’re missing is a ridiculously expensive and stylish helmet. Please allow us to suggest an entire line: The Pavillion Helmet ($830)from Ruby. Designed by Jerome Coste, the Pavillion helmets come in a dazzling array of colors and designs, from stripes to checks to grids to funky places in between. They’re each constructed of a carbon shell, chrome or leather trim (depending on the model) and feature a rich, red, Nappa lambskin leather interior, plus snaps for aftermarket peaks or visor shields. Which means you’ll be safe and styling from Zurich to Zhengzhou.
Lost & Found
When you own as many cars, boats, and private islands as you do, you’re bound to lose track of one now and then. Attach a Cobra Tag ($80.00) to your Go-Kart keys, wallet, girlfriend, or land mass and you’ll never misplace them again. A sensor on the Cobra Tag communicates with the free app on your phone to help you locate your valuables. If you happen to lose your phone, the Cobra Tag can also be used to find it too. Simply tap the button on the Cobra Tag to ring your Smartphone, and voila! The only calls you’ll be missing are the ones you deliberately send to voicemail.
While you wouldn’t consider yourself a candidate for Hells Angel’s (the Vegas bar fight that earned you a night in the pokey aside) you’ve come to respect the all-American badass-ness that the Harley brand represents. Which is why you’ll want to add the Superlow Harley Davidson ($8,500) to your collection. The fuel-injected Harley V-Twin provides 55 ft. lbs. of torque at 3500 rpm, and features a low balanced design for easy handling. Perfect for a road trip to Vegas.
You’re fond of Mexico for many reasons (recreational substances, inexpensive politicians, foam night at Señor Frogs) but nothing beats their tequila. You pretty much owe all of your high school happy endings to the spicy clear liquid. Pick up a bottle of Tequila Don Julio 70 Anejo Claro ($60.00) and toast your sexual awakening along with the 70th anniversary of the award-winning tequila. Created from hand-grown and harvested blue agave plants and twice distilled, Don Julio 70 Anejo Claro is aged to perfection in white oak barrels for 18 months, and then carefully filtered for extra smoothness and clarity. With just one sip and some Bryan Adams playing on your Portable Digital Music Player you’ll be transported back to your 9th-grade girlfriend’s dimly lit basement.
Look Ma! No Knobs!
As a man that likes to live (and dare we say thrive) on the edge, you’ll enjoy the Sunrise Touch Screen Faucet. The touchscreen digital control pad stops and starts the water and adjusts temperature and flow with the tap of a finger. So now every time you turn on the faucet, you can tempt fate by mixing electricity and water. We hear there’s nothing quite like the adrenaline rush you get from electrocution.
While the work of certain Italian “economists” like Charles Ponzi have been making headlines in recent years, it would behoove a man of your stature to be well-informed about the work of real Italian economist Vilfredo Pareto, and his observations on wealth and income (two of your favorite pastimes) as reconsidered by contemporary author Richard Koch in the book “The 80/20 Principle.”($11.00) According to Pareto’s studies in 1897, it’s usually 20 percent of any given entity—say a business, workforce, or even stock portfolio—that produces 80 percent of the total result. Koch has been kind enough to share his reinterpretation of Pareto’s work, and share insights about what it takes to get the most out of your top 20 percent, both in business and in life. Guaranteed to work 80% of the time, 20% of the time.
Up Close And Personal
Whether you’re an avid bird watcher or a curious neighbor, the Sony Digital Recording Binoculars ($1,352) will definitely turn you on. Capable of taking 7.1-megapixel still shots and recording HD video, the binoculars function just like a camcorder. They also come equipped with an on-board GPS receiver that will pinpoint the exact location of said bird or escalating pillow fight. Happy hunting!
Talk Is Cheap. This Phone Is Not.
There comes a time in every man’s life when he needs to pull out the big guns to close a deal. When we say guns we mean bling. And as impressive as your BMW Intermarine 55 Motoryacht is, you can’t exactly pull it out and lay it on the table. For this situation it would behoove you to possess the Ulysse Nardin Chairman Smartphone ($50,000). In this instance, a little bling goes a long way. The high-tech mobile phone from the world-renowned Swiss watchmaker features 32GB of storage, a 3.2-inch touchscreen, Android, biometric scanner, and most notably, a self-winding rotor mechanism that supplements the phone’s battery power. Available in solid gold or diamond encrusted versions ensure that the six-figure phone will send the message loud and clear.