First the search engine, then email, maps and Earth. Google continues its path to worldwide domination and ultimate coolness with Google Maps Envelopes. Now, after your assistant types up your email (on Gmail, of course) instead of merely clicking “Send,” she can opt for “Send Envelope,” whereby, for a small fee, they’ll print out your letter and send it via U.S. Postal Service in an envelope that depicts the exact route the letter will travel between you and its recipient. If that’s not the coolest thing since Street View, we don’t know what is.
If you’ve ever wanted to go back to a time when flattops were fresh and the running man was the flyest move in your arsenal, then set your Flux Capacitor to NOW, courtesy of the only Portable Digital Music Player($150) with Radio Raheem’s personal seal of approval. This 80’s throwback looks like it’s from the Reagan era, but its capabilities are pure Obama. Not only can it play any iPod device, but it’s got an FM tuner AND the ability to record anything off an FM station as an MP3 directly onto an SD card or USB drive. And though it does have a power cord, it also runs on D batteries, so everyone in the hood is sure to feel the wrath of your boomin’ system.
Just think of how often life’s most enjoyable moments come with a surprise inside. Jelly donuts. Piñatas. Brownies at a Phish show. And now, burgers! Introducing the Stuffed Hamburger Press ($12.00). An ingenious invention that lets you customize your burger from the inside out. Simply load each side with the ground meat of your choice, and add whatever filling you want, be it cheese, veggies, or even more meat (might we suggest BACON?). Then seal the deal, fire up the grill and get ready to reign, because you ARE the burger King.
Turns out, it’s true, what your ex-dolphin trainer girlfriend said—the fish are just as curious about you as you are about them. Now you can give Nemo an eyeful, with this Transparent Canoe($1,500). Your new, 11-foot long watercraft seats two, and is made of Lexan, the same high-quality polycarbonate material used in bulletproof glass and cockpit canopies of supersonic fighter jets (but you already knew that). With its lightweight anodized aluminum frame, it weighs in at only 40 pounds, making it incredibly portable, should the mood to canoe strike suddenly. Comes with two double-headed paddles, a water bailer, and two flotation devices. Much like that ex-girlfriend.
Real estate contracts, your humidor, that extra set of skivvies for lucky days—you’ve got a lot of important stuff to carry. And sometimes, your pockets just can’t cut it. No matter—it’s nothing your Johnny Bag($195) can’t handle. Brought to us by @Work Design, a company that prides itself on creating products with great style and great function, the Johnny Bag does just that. Not only will this cotton canvas bag look sharp with its handsome leather trim, but it can transform from tote to messenger bag in a snap, thanks to its dual adjustable heavy cotton straps. Now you really are ready for anything.